First thing this morning, my lovely girlfriend sent me a horrifying link… the “Duckie Massager.”

It vibrates. It’s named “Paris.” It wears a feather boa. And sports a piercing.

Run away, run far away…!

*taps microphone* Is this thing on? Ahem. *cough, cough*

Hey! There are comics posted for next week! Monday’s and Thursday’s comics are done and uploaded. Be ready!

We now return you to your regularly scheduled holiday weekend preparations. Thank you.

Show the love! Our buddy Wonderduck is running his traditional “12 Days of Duckmas,” starting today. Check it out, won’t you?