This is a prime example of two things:

1. Why I Don’t Participate In “Talk Like A Pirate Day”. Ye gods, people, that’s a lot of work just to sound even less intelligible than I already am.
2. Sometimes it’s a complete nightmare when you have the punch line but don’t have a good way to construct the joke which leads up to it.

Hell, I didn’t even come up with nearly as clever of a title as I’d hoped for… and you don’t want to see the rejected titles. Trust me.